Friday, March 7, 2008

Media Pitch

Dear Mr. Frazier,

I'm writing to you to let you know of a great local association that many of your readers might be interested in knowing about. The Cache Valley Area Investors Association is a locally operated organization started by Preston Parker, a teacher up at Utah State University. It has about 40 members and meets every other Thursday at the Cache Chambers of Commerce at 7:00 p.m.

This organization tries to help its members earn residual income so they can hopefully become financially independent so they don't have to live paycheck to paycheck. The CVAIA is a free organization and its members help set the topics for the meetings. If you want to learn how to invest your money to get 25% returns, they can teach you. Need to know how to buy stock? No problem.

This is a great organization that can help all of you readers make a better life for themselves and their families. You can contact me, Corey Sparks, at 435-770-1129 or at corey.sparks@aggiemail.usu.edu. Thank you for your time and consideration. I would love to answer any of your questions and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Corey Sparks

Public Relations Advisor

2 comments:

Jackson said...

Corey-

I like this media pitch. There are only two things I would change about it:

1. In the first paragraph when referring to Preston, you say he's a professor "up at Utah State University." I think eliminating the word "up" would make that flow better so that it's just "...at Utah State..."

2. The first sentence of the second paragraph seems to be a run-on. I would break it up and reword it.

Other than that, nice work.

Jackson said...

Corey-

This is a good start, but I think you'll need to get more specific when it comes to the breakdown of money and where the funds - if donated - would be distributed.

As far as AP style, I would only get rid of the superfluous comma after "you" in the second paragraph:

"With the American Red Cross you, will know your money is going toward a great cause."

Looks good.